Last night I dropped my brand-new iPhone in the toilet.
Baby 6s is hanging out in a container of rice - a mason jar of organic black rice, to be exact, because apparently I'm insufferable - but I'm not very optimistic that it's going to work. Life just really doesn't seem to be trending that way for me lately, you know?
To answer the obvious question, the phone was in my back pocket. I had placed it there approximately 30 seconds before going to the bathroom (in my home) and forgotten about it. This is great for a number of reasons, including why did I put it there in the first place (it's my house, if I wanted to play Criminal Case while I was peeing who was gonna judge me?) and how did I manage to forget it was there on the long trek from the dining room to the bathroom?
The extra-sad part is that I HAVE DONE THIS EXACT SAME THING BEFORE, almost exactly two years ago, also with a then-brand-new iPhone. The extra-extra sad part is that when I got this one a month ago, AT&T signed me up for insurance without telling me - which I discovered last week and promptly canceled.
BECAUSE OF COURSE I DID. I was all proud of myself, too, like, "Ha-ha, corporate America! Nice try, but I examine my monthly statement CLOSELY!"
Truly, I am the reason that I can't have nice things.
I'm off to work now. If I break my leg walking into the building or electrocute myself on my work computer, I will be zero percent surprised.