"get a dog," they said. "it'll be fun," they said.

Here are some things that Maisy has done lately!

1. Ate a book.

Felt sort of bad about it maybe? Hard to say. Clearly not that badly, since a few days later, she

2. Ate a packing slip and receipt.

And also

3. Destroyed some innocent toilet paper that had done absolutely nothing to her.

After all of this Maisy lost her out-of-crate privileges during the day. I thought this would be enough to exorcise whatever demon is currently residing in her heart, but I was VERY WRONG, because sometime last night, Maisy wriggled between my pillow and Brandon's and deposited a large pile of vomit on the bed. Neither of us noticed until 6 a.m., when I plopped my hand directly into it.

I believe this is what you might call a "rude awakening."

And so the current standings in our home are as follows.

Lest you feel bad for Maisy: right before I put this in writing she came over to me, sat right below me, and pooted. So yeah. Last place with a bullet.

Sophie, it should be noted, is everything you want in a first-place pet, including benevolent and patient and willing to hang out with her underlings.

Teach her your ways, Sophie. TEACH HER YOUR WAYS.