Up the Creek - S2e10, khjjkgyhrryjukyo,i

Pacey and Dawson start off episode 10 (real title: "High-Risk Behavior") by having an intense discussion about how they've really been in love this whole time. Clearly, they are rehearsing lines for Dawson's dumb movie, but it's supposed to be a big ~clever reveal~ when Dawson ostensibly leans in for a kiss only to reach for a script instead of Pacey's mouth. WOW I NEVER SAW IT COMING

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Up the Creek will be back next week!

I'm so sorry for the unannounced break in Dawson's Creek action. Work has been insane the past two weeks and I chose to spend my little free time making dinner and talking to my husband instead of hanging out in Capeside. (10/10, would choose again.) I'll be hitting the creek again next week! LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.

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Up the Creek - S2e8, A Raging Part and A First Dat

Season 2, episode 8 (real title: "The Reluctant Hero") kicks off with Dawson watching It's a Wonderful Life. I think? Maybe it's To Kill A Mockingbird?

I have not watched many old movies in my life, I guess. Whatever. Pacey is there and he doesn't know or care what movie it is either. He is bored and just wants to take all of the pepperoni off the pizza and eat it on one slice. I totally relate to this and endorse Pacey's priorities.

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Up the Creek - S2e5, Lunar Glamour Shots

Season 2, Episode 5 (real title: "Full Moon Rising," pour some out for CCR) opens with Joey and Dawson sitting on the roof gazing at the moon, which is almost full but not quite full. That's fine with Joey, who says it’s a "scientific fact" that strange things always happen during a full moon because we’re made up mostly of water.

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Up the Creek - S2E4, Possibly I Have Never Been So Bored

The real title of this episode is "Tamara's Return" and I got VERY EXCITED not only because I like Tamara (in spite of her propensity to commit statutory rape) but also because she is BFF with MEL FREAKIN' SILVER and so I thought maybe he would make a cameo and save me from everything. SPOILER ALERT: HE DOES NOT. And if that weren't sad enough, this episode is the most boring thing to ever happen on television ever, including everything that has ever aired on CSPAN. And if THAT weren't sad enough, the episode opens with Dawson and Joey making out.


On pavement.

And Dawson is wearing shoes and socks.

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Up the Creek - S2e3, a general feeling of discomfort

Season 2, episode 3 (real title: "Alternative Lifestyles," which, I can't) opens with THE DEATH OF THE LADDER!!!!!

I was excited at first because I thought maybe one of the adult Leerys noticed all the bugs in their house and realized the infestation was coming from the perpetually open windows/lack of screens in Dawson's room, but nope, it's just that Mr. Leery is real concerned about Dawson and Joey going to the bone zone.

Dawson accuses him of being in denial that "the little boy you brought into  the world is now a sexual being." In the last episode, Mr. Leery literally yelled "No glove, no love" at Dawson and Mrs. Leery showed Joey a pornographic massage book, so I kind of think they get it, but Dawson disagrees, and demonstrates it by saying "sexual being" no less than 54 times in this scene. Glad to see my desire to punch him in the face remains intact.

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Up the "Creek" - S2e2, Beefcakes, Boats and SuperSoakers

Joey and Dawson are totally making out during an infomercial for an at-home sausage maker. That is not a euphemism.

They show a lot of these close-ups of sausage. I feel uncomfortable. Anyway, then the Leerys come in and turn off the sausage show and stare at Joey and Dawson on the bed. Joey has been sleeping over for years and the Leerys have never popped in to check on them, so I’m not sure why it’s happening now or why Mr. Leery is wearing a wifebeater to do it. Maybe the Leerys actually do come in to Dawson's room every night and stare at the two of them sleeping, which probably makes more sense, given the personality disorders of every character on this show.

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Up the "Creek" - S2e1, Hellfire And The Suspension Of Time

I took last week off because there is only so much of this one person can handle in consecutive weeks before her brain starts to hurt. Anyway, hi, y'all! I'm soldiering on to season two. Don't get too excited. Let's just take this a season at a time, you and me. My tolerance could just run out at any time. Lest you be worried that that week off will leave you confused about where we are in the Dawson universe, WORRY NOT.

We're picking up right where we left off, with dramatical kissing silhouettes! I take this to mean they've been standing there kissing for two straight weeks, since I finished the last episode of the first godforsaken season. Since that is a long ass time to be kissing, it's time for them to break apart and discuss the fact that they kissed and what it means that they kissed, and then to dedicate some time to acting awkward about the fact that they kissed and accusing each other of not wanting to have kissed. This goes on until Joey throws a tantrum and Dawson shuts her up by kissing her.

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Up the "Creek" - S1e13, Are You Capable Of Not Making That Face Or

Per usual, the episode (real title: "Decisions") opens with Dawson and Joey's standing movie date, except this time she's complaining about how said standing movie date is so predictable. This conversation turns to the topic of cliffhangers on TV shows and how they're always so predictable and never result in anything changing, which is clearly a very pathetic attempt at having the characters discuss their own situation. I like to imagine the Dawson's writers thought this was clever, but it's mostly just awkward and serves only to reaffirm that Joey is an unpleasant, whiny girl. The great cliffhanger, if you will, is why this girl has any friends at all.

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Up The "Creek" - S1e12, Rejecting What You've Wanted All Along

In the opening scenes of episode 12 (real title: "Beauty Contest"), Dawson's in his room with Joey watching bugs have sex. Yeah, that's not a euphemism.

He says he doesn't understand how the bugs know who to be attracted to, because they all look alike. Racist.

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Up the "Creek" - S1e11, The Carnival Of Cool

Episode 11 (real title: "Double Date") opens with Dawson moping around his room whining to Joey about Jen. He's all confused because she hasn't tried to get together with him since they broke up, so I guess he's unclear on the concept of a breakup. Joey asks what he’ll do if Jen asks him to be friends, and he says he’s not sure he can be friends with someone he wants to be in a relationship with. Joey gives him exasperated eyes and says, "IT CAN BE DONE."

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Up the "Creek" - S1e10, Shockingly, Dawson Didn't Do It

To open episode 10 (real title: "The Scare"), Joey and Dawson watch "I Know What You Did Last Summer" in honor of the next day, which happens to be Friday the 13th. Dawson looks really happy that Sarah Michelle Gellar is about to bite it. Again, why Joey hangs out in his room alone with him all the time remains a mystery.

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Up the "Creek" - S1e09, Reacting By Not Reacting

In the opening scene of episode 9 (real title: "Roadtrip"), Dawson laments his breakup with Jen by listening to Savage Garden (freakin' Savage Garden) and staring longingly out the window. Joey calls him an idiot and yells at him for being sad. Glad to see that this, the dysfunctional foundation of their weird friendship, remains intact.

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Up the "Creek" - S1e08, Broody McConvertible

Episode 8 (real title: "Boyfriend") opens with Dawson in his room watching TV alone. He comes upon a scrambled porn channel and spends zero time trying to watch it, proving once more that he is not a normal teenage boy.

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Up the “Creek” – S1e07, What Did John Hughes Ever Do To You, Dawson?

At the beginning of episode 7 (real title: "Detention") , Joey and Dawson are once again hanging out in his room watching TV. Seven episodes in I feel qualified to assume that this is just how every episode ever is going to open, but at least this time they are also hanging out with ET.

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The List - 15 Really Important Things I Have Learned From Watching ‘Dawson’s Creek’ So Far

For the past six weeks, in honor of the 15th anniversary of locally filmed teen drama "Dawson's Creek," I have been watching season one for the very first time and recapping the episodes on the WilmOnFilm blog. By day, I’m the StarNews environment and health reporter, but by night (and by day too, and morning, and really all the time), I am the StarNews snark expert, which is, as far as I can tell, the main qualification for the Dawson’s blogging gig. Feel free to follow along at www.StarNewsOnline.com/UpThe Creek or get the Reader's Digest version here with this list of 15 Really Important Things I Have Learned From Watching "Dawson’s Creek" So Far.

1. You don't need to have screens in your windows. There are zero bugs in Wilmington, for real, and if you have screens it makes it very difficult for people to climb in and out of your windows, which is a normal and acceptable way to visit your neighbors.

2. Puberty is really serious business and should be discussed frequently and at length.

3. Even if it is possible to take a car to visit your friends, you are better off taking a rowboat.

4. When life hands you a serious problem, you should immediately head to the nearest public bench and sit , with a pensive look on your face, until the answer comes to you. Or until you are ready to go yell at someone else about it. Either is fine.

5. It is perfectly acceptable for grown men to spend all of their free time playing with toys.

6. When having an illicit affair, it's important to do a lot of canoodling in the hallway at work, in the driveway in front of the house you share with your husband and on the phone 10 feet away from your teenage son.

7. If that affair goes public, the first person you should discuss it with is your teenage son's best friend.

8. If someone in a position of authority tells you that you can't do something – join a film class reserved for upperclassmen, for example – just keep asking repeatedly until they give in. If that doesn't work, just start coming to class anyway. There will be zero repercussions for any of this. You will always just get what you want.

9. Teachers are always going to have hideously decorated houses. They will also, inexplicably, be able to afford beachfront property.

10. Tube socks always get the girl.

11. If possible, film your entire life. It's OK if you need to hide cameras to do it. People will get mad about it sometimes, but who even cares because the footage will be fantastic!

12. Eavesdropping is an acceptable way of learning information. Since you're climbing in and out of people's windows all the time anyway, you might as well get some gossip.

13. Overalls are a fashion DO.

14. No matter what, y’all, everything is about Joey Potter. Having a baby and in pain? That's about Joey. Word got out about your super-secret affair with your teacher? That's about Joey. Just found out your mom's having an affair with her coworker? Sorry, but that's totally about Joey too.

15. The opening credits were so right. I don't want to wait for our lives to be over. I want to know, right now, what will it be?

Up the “Creek” – S1e06, The Longest Day

Episode 6 (real title: "Baby") opens with Joey and Dawson watching a movie. She says she has to leave because her sister's all pregnant and about to pop, and then we find out that Jen is there too. She feels awkward for intruding on Joey and Dawson's "personal ritual" of watching movies in his creepy room. Turns out Joey feels awkward that she's there, too, so the two of them have a passive-aggressive conversation about how they should both leave. Throughout all of this, Joey is wearing overalls. Short overalls.

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